Skip to main content

The Woman with the Red, Designer Shoes


 

 An upscale downtown shoe store window proudly displayed an impressive pair of red designer heels. The shoes seemed to call out to a young woman as she attempted to pass by. Captivated, she walked inside to have a closer look. She approached the salesman anxious to know the price. He informed her the heels in question were expensive, limited edition shoes, and the store only had one pair left.


 The shoes were definitely over her budget but she figured there would be no harm in simply trying them on. She promised herself she'd only wear them for a moment and then she would promptly take off the fabulous pumps, walk out of the shop, and try to forget they existed.


But as she held the elegantly crafted box her heart seemed to skip a beat. She quickly pulled back the decorative packaging revealing the most exquisite pair of shoes she had ever seen. Barely stifling the squeal that erupted from her lips, she removed her shoes and hurriedly slipped into the beautiful heels. They seemed to hug the contours of her feet. The shoes looked amazing on her, they were a perfect fit. She walked back and forth in front of the full-length mirror. 


The shoppers in the quaint boutique all began to follow her movements as she continued to walk around the store admiring her and the shoes as they went. She looked and felt amazing! She knew the shoes were entirely too high for her budget, she should take them off and walk out of the store. She thought about doing that until she overheard another young lady beckon the salesman to inquire about the shoes. Instead of taking them off, she joined the young lady at the counter. 



  "Those shoes look incredible on you. Would you like to purchase them, if not I can show you something else?" The salesman offered as she approached the counter. The young woman standing next to her quickly countered, "If she doesn't take them I will." Feeling a sense of urgency, she reached into her purse and produced her credit card. "I'll take them,'' she countered. Elated, she became the owner of the magnificent designer shoes.


The red pumps instantly became her signature shoes. They were worn to every significant event: dinner parties, receptions, nights out on the town, weddings, funerals; she wore them everywhere! No matter how often she wore this particular pair of shoes, she always received compliments and was the center of attention when she wore them; she loved that part most. 


As time passed, the woman's feet gradually began to spread. The design of most of the shoes she owned compensated for this, but unfortunately, there was one particular shoe that could not be stretched -- her red, designer heels. Regrettably, the woman wouldn't find that out until the city's gala. 


That moment arrived three weeks later. She decided this event demanded her to wear her new black dress and her trusted pair of red designer pumps. On the day of the event, it took over 3 hours to shower, comb and style her hair flawlessly, apply her make-up, and put on her little black dress. She looked flawless, her makeup was on point, her hair was whipped and her dress fit her like a glove. The only thing left to do was put on her pumps.


Her smile quickly turned to surprise and frustration. The heels no longer gently hugged the contour of her feet. The shoes were too tight to fit comfortably. Panicked, she tried everything she could think of to get the pumps to adjust to her newly acquired foot growth, but nothing worked. She felt the situation could be fixed if only she had more time; maybe she could find a way to make it work.


But time wasn't on her side; her friend arrived moments later as scheduled. She had two options: pick another shoe, or attempt to squeeze her feet into shoes that no longer fit. What did she do? She decided to stuff her feet into those red, designer pumps. 


Her choice of footwear made the evening long and unbearable. There were no parking spaces readily available. The two women had to walk several long blocks to reach their destination. The building's exterior and interior famously showcased a beautiful accent of the most elaborate design of marble stairs. They were lovely but she hated every dreaded step. 



First, she began to try to compensate for her poor footwear by shifting her weight around and leaning against things, but nothing worked. She tried telling herself it wasn't as bad as she thought it was. What started as minor discomfort grew into indescribable aches and throbbing pain. 




The gala included a delicious meal, opportunities for mingling, and, of course, dancing. She tried to participate in as many activities as she could but she ended up spending most of the night at the wonderfully decorated table with her designer heels. While everyone else enjoyed a night of dancing and socializing. 


After the event ended, she arrived home exhausted and in excruciating pain. She entered her apartment with her shoes in

hand as she hobbled inside. The shoes irreverently fell to the floor as she made a beeline to the tub to soak and massage her throbbing feet. 


When she emerged from the bathroom, she stopped to admire her red pumps. The shoes were gorgeous. But were they worth all of the pain and discomfort they had caused? Momentarily she thought of giving them away. But she had begun to identify with the status associated with owning an exclusive pair of limited edition designer shoes, and she was reluctant to give that up without a fight.

 

The following day she googled every method known to man to enlarge shoes. But it was useless; nothing seemed to work. Buying an identical pair of shoes was not an option. Stubbornly she made two more attempts to wear her designer limited edition heels, but each time she did, she suffered for it. 


Frustrated, she finally made the difficult decision to donate the shoes. She had lots of shoes in her shoe closet. She decided to be content with what she had. She planned to take a moment to save up and make another big purchase when she was ready. She boxed her red designer shoes and delivered them to a local thrift store.




Relationships, both platonic and romantic, can mimic the same cycle as this woman's shoe journey. There are times that we see signs, red flags, from the start. But instead of walking away, we think of ways to make it work. Despite the improbability of this union working out well we willingly invest our time, energy, resources, and emotions, into our relationships. For a period, the relationship may seem to be a perfect fit. But as the seasons of life begin to change, you may outgrow some relationships that may have served their purpose during a period in your life but it's not a connection that will stand the test of time. The dynamics of the association are not equipped to endure the trials of life.


Growth is a vital aspect of development. What would our existence be like without it? In life, we are constantly maturing and there are times when that self-development brings us closer together or pulls us further apart from the people we were once closely associated with. When it becomes problematic, we usually attempt to solve the situation in several ways. 


We may choose to be in a state of denial. We may ignore the changes and try our best to adjust to being content with being dissatisfied. This way we avoid having difficult conversations. We may be tempted to squeeze ourselves into spaces that we have outgrown yet wonder why the relationship isn't working. The association has served its purpose, and it can no longer contain all that we bring to the table. The more we interact within this space, the more unnecessary pain, aggravation, and frustration we will feel. Ultimately we must determine whether to end the relationship or manage to be unhappily satisfied. 


Take an assessment of your relationships. How accommodating are they? Do your current connections allow you the necessary space required to grow? Or are you holding on to an association because of the status you believe it provides?  


Whatever you choose to do, don't allow yourself to be in a relationship that stifles your ability to grow or that attempts to silence your voice. Give yourself the permission needed to remove yourself from people, places, things, and ideas that seek to stunt your growth, create painful memories, etc. associations that don't add to you or your relationship real estate. Join me on the path to growth. Ready. Set. Unmute.











Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Pressurized

  Have you ever thought about how some of the most invaluable assets of our world came to be? We rarely consider the processes that are involved in refining gold, diamonds or other precious stones. We simply admire the finished project without regarding the sweat equity that produced these beautiful and costly items.  Pressure is defined as constant physical force that is applied to or against an object. Many of the world's precious treasures that are here today would cease to exist with the absence of pressure. Although the process of pressurizing an object can be a burdensome and tenuous task; I think we'd all agree it's worth it.  Diamonds are formed from carbon that is buried, deep beneath massive layers of earth. They are put under intense pressures equaling 725,000 pounds per square inch. Next, they are exposed to extreme temperatures totalling 2,200 Fahrenheit.    Once found they must be cleaned, sorted and inspected. Only a small number of these diamonds can move on

Live your life outside of the lines

I can remember learning how to color back in kindergarten. My teacher would hold up a perfectly colored coloring sheet that she provided as an example of how the completed assignment should l ook. Next, she handed out the blank coloring sheets and gave the instructions on how to successfully complete the task. Excited, everyone would pull out their set of crayons and begin to color. She would walk through the rows of desks looking at the humble beginnings of these future masterpieces. Occasionally, she would remind us, "Children, remember to stay inside of the lines."Once completed, she would ensure names were on all the coloring sheets and then proceed to hang them up on the bulletin board for everyone to see.        Having your artwork on display for the teacher, classmates and parents was a really big deal. Everyone one would huddle around the bulletin board to determine who submitted the " best" and "worst" work. The inspections were always

We Teach People How to Treat Us

If we close our eyes, we can all visualize a child whining in our ears, complaining, "She did this to me!" "He did that!" It wasn't that hard to imagine, was it? Well, this time, picture an adult doing the same thing? Is that difficult for you to "see"?  Let's be honest. Is this something you're guilty of? Yeah, I know. People are capable of doing some very cruel things, unimaginably at times when we least expect them. But what was your response to their behavior? Did your reaction to the situation tell the person you would accept this or similar behavior from them in the future? I'm not saying you should cut people off for the slightest offense. But you, me, we teach people how to treat us. We show them both what we will and will not tolerate.  Communication is key. No one can advocate for you better than you. You are fully aware of what you do and do not like. If you don't like how someone treated you or the way something made you fee